Judicial Caning

My newest skills acquisition project...

I don't have this completely figured out yet. If I take a step while swinging a 4ft judicial style cane with a 360 degree arc, that is a really, really hard stroke. I once hit my martial arts target with one of those--Dana heard it outside halfway to the mailboxes (a towel is a great sound muffler, I learned that day). I think it may be too hard to be realistic (unless the person in question is an uber-fit male ex-marine with a prison punishment fetish).

So I think it will go like this. I will practice the full stroke in the same spirit that my old martial arts instructor told us to practice both hard and easy stuff. Doing something at the high end of your ability makes the other stuff easy. I love it when a previously difficult skill turns into "effortless effort." Doing something challenging and mastering that really does the trick for the less difficult stuff. This is sort of the spanking equivalent of learning to break 5 boards (you have to be in really deep dog doo to have to use that much force in an actual fight but it is good to learn anyway).

But, in rl I think I am going to have to modify the stroke (no step, reduced arc, smaller cane, less force, etc). I already have a willing crash test dummy lined up for when I can go live. So my first session will definitely be an experiment erring on the side of caution. I am not far away from having this down--but a couple months of practice are still in order.

How a Technoretarded Spanko fixes a computer

I still can't believe it...

My computer started acting up a month ago or so by requiring more and more tries before it would successfully boot. We have been waiting on tax money to fix it, so we have been keeping it turned on to avoid a premature failure.

So today the tax money came in, and the monitor failed. Since the monitor failed we had to turn the machine off in the process of replacing it.

So we trotted down to Best Buy, got a new monitor, hooked it up--and could not boot after a dozen tries.

Now this week has sucked so far and this was the last straw for me so I sat staring at the TV while D tried to start the thing about a dozen times. He pointed out a clicking noise the machine was making before showing the blue screen of death.

It started to annoy me. Suddenly the idea popped in my head that maybe the CPU needed a spanking. No joke.

Actually I just wanted to shake things up in there because it suddenly occurred to me what the Dell dingbats probably did when they fixed it the last time. The sound has not been working (a loose audio card, maybe). Now the clicking and intermittent booting? Seems like they left a few screws loose to match the loose screws in their heads (Who, me? Have a grudge against Hell--er Dell. Nah!).

I figured rattling things around a bit when the clicking was happening might shake something into place long enough to boot the thing.

I was shocked as hell when it actually worked!

Damn.

I am fed up though. It is time I took a computer repair course (well once D gets employed). It is really getting under my skin that I have become so dependent on a piece of machinery that I can't make basic repairs to (besides component hookups and therapeutic spankings).

A quick whine

I *miss* the SL board, dammit.

I am hoping D gets a break soon on employment (he is following some promising leads). I wanna talk to my friends again!

I may end up breaking down and using some of that economic stimulus tax break $ on re-upping my membership. I am sure Tony and Eve can use it right about now.

What happened to the Domestic Discipline??

It's back.

It went away for a few months there because of stress. I had just gotten out of D back in September that he wanted a loose DD dynamic to our relationship. Nothing very stringent--it is just that there are a couple of good habits he wants to adopt.

Shortly after we started a DD plan the Economy struck, my job became a soap opera, and I got a bit depressed.

Well, the economy still stinks but we have gotten used to our new budget, the fellow causing the soap opera at work quit, and that ritual scene I participated in several weeks ago snapped me out of my funk. I've taken the necessary steps to stay out of the funk.

Which leads me to the little matter of D's wristwatch. Despite the small size of our condo we have 3 pieces of exercise equipment in one end of the living room. There is the NordicTrac and the Bow Flex that I use (along with a small collection of free weights) and then there is the stationary bike D is supposed to be using.

Now, I re-upped my exercise efforts as an antidote to the blues and was gratified over the last few days to see that D had his wristwatch on the "dashboard" part of the exercise bike. It was comforting. It meant he was working out and timing it. The man is very ritualistic with his stuff so I figured that watch was there with a purpose. I don't expect the man to turn into Charles Atlas--I just want him to maintain basic cardiovascular health.

Well, my exercise fantasy bubble got popped today when D asked me if I had seen his wristwatch. I told him it was on the exercise bike. He commented "Well that just shows how long it has been since I have used that watch!"

Ahem.

Once I collected my thoughts I told him that it was also an indicator of how long it had been since he had used that bike!

He had sworn up and down a few weeks ago that he could remember to exercise without the DD.

Apparently not.

So the DD is back. I told him it is back and to start using the thing 10 min a day, 5 days a week.

Later I playfully whacked him with a hairbrush. He lay on the bed and I dug out the 3 ft remains of a Singapore cane that I had broken months ago and whacked him with it about 10 times. I ended up with an instant contrite little boy--who seemed to listen more attentively when I told him the exercise is going to happen from now on.

It is going to happen from now on. And yeah, D just looked over my shoulder a minute ago to see what I am writing and winced.

TV spanking moment :-)

On the NBC Today show about 15 min ago:

Kathy Lee Gifford (in reference to Khloe Kardashian who was waiting for her interview) "I am going to spank her! I told her to dress appropriately! She is showing cleavage."

No, the spanking did not happen though Khloe immediately put her hand over her cleavage when this was said and then inquired about the spanking after the commercial break. Kathy stated she was not going to actually spank her.

I'll spank her.

Please???

LOL!

Damn (volunteerism)

A couple of very good folks who have been working as key volunteers for one of our BDSM orgs just resigned.

I have no idea what precipitated it. It is none of my business.

But this brings up some stuff that has really been bugging me for awhile.

First of all, I have a case of the guilts that I don't quite know how to resolve. A few years ago I volunteered for an org as the newsletter editor. I edited, printed, folded, stuffed, and drove across town to deliver an 8 page newsletter for 200 people by myself. After a year I was fried. I also *had* to quit too as I was purchasing a condo and quickly found out purchasing real estate is a temporary full time job in itself.

I have not volunteered in a significant, formal way since. I have put together several demos and presented them, so I am still serving the community to some extent. I suppose I underrate that effort--some of these demos require quite a bit of research. But I enjoy doing them so much...

Anyway, I digress. I keep feeling like I *should* hold one of these major positions (like the newsletter editor one). But--I can't bring myself to do it.

While I can chase off predators with no problem I have a *very* tough time drawing boundaries when assigned a volunteer task.

WRT to the newsletter-- it was amazing what people put me through. People who had, I think, graduated from H.S. swore up and down they could not write. Had I waited for someone to write something (I was supposed to be an *editor,* not a writer) I would have never filled up 8 pages. I don't know how many things I wrote for folks. I don't know how many times I had to guess at what a demo was about to do a write up because the instructor could not be reached and would not submit one. I don't know how many times I got called on the carpet for an inaccuracy after I had to beg for the information I got in the first place--and got it 2 days past my deadline. I don't know how many times I edited and put in articles less than one hour before I had to submit the newsletter to the printer to make my print delivery deadline.

The "coop de grass"--the thing that started me thinking about quitting, was when someone told me they wanted me to upgrade the newsletter and showed me glossy ones created by much larger dungeons which have an editing *team*.

So I quit (with three month's notice).

This is not peculiar to that club at all. From what I have heard this is a pretty typical volunteer experience.

The club, the people, the membership, whomever, takes advantage of the volunteers and wrings out their energy until they burn out and quit. Often when they quit they *quit*--as in drop out of the public scene for awhile. I was smart enough to toss in the towel before my resentment became entrenched.

And--the volunteers let it happen. I think it is a self selecting phenomenon. Those who tend to volunteer are those who tend to be the helping sort anyway (minus a person here and there who volunteer for the power and pass the real work onto others)--and often those are the folks who can be taken advantage of in fairly outrageous ways.

There is rarely any questioning of whether or not too much is being asked of the volunteer, whether or not they have a life, or kids, or a *gasp* job.

And the volunteer rarely mentions it.

Which sets up another dynamic--who wants to volunteer when they see the current volunteers living at the place and becoming more burned out? Not a good promotion for volunteering. I don't know about anyone else, but my job takes a lot of tiger out of me already. I don't have the energy to deal with the same crap as a volunteer.

Would it be possible to set up some sort of group ethic for this? I think the first myth that needs to go is the idea of a volunteer as a self sacrificing altruist who has no limits. The volunteer needs to let go of this as much as the organization does. It seems that it would not have been too much to ask that the person who wanted me to upgrade the newsletter would also inquire if I needed help to do that. It seemed he saw me doing a good job and wanted to see how much more he could wring out of me. And, I admit, it would not have been too much to ask that I tell this person that I would be happy to upgrade the newsletter as soon as I have a proper team to support me in creating the sort of publication the BOD wanted.

So what if the only volunteer who can be reached by phone says, "as a matter of fact I *can't* come out to unlock the dungeon right now. I am having dinner with my kids across town 40 miles away and I can't afford the gas to be doing this all the time." A class may be canceled--and a solution may be found to the ongoing access issue, finally.

Under this ethic (something that could be drafted, taught, and institutionalized by the right leaders, I am sure) nastiness and backbiting would not be an acceptable response for someone setting a reasonable limit. Telling a person that they need to host a party every month just because they pulled off one successful one would not happen. If it did the person being told to do this would feel safe to say no.

Seems we need to negotiate our volunteer relationships with the same care that we negotiate our scenes. We all have needs, limits that can be stretched, limits that are hard, and expectations. These scene negotiation skills *are* generalizable!

Self Promotion

If you were at last Saturday's party and wonder WTF I was doing--I finally posted about it on _The Islander_.

If you weren't at last Saturday's party--well this is one of those posts that made me create a second blog. Yep--you've been warned again.

Predators

Another opinionated post warning:

So at the Saturday party I heard of one incident that really disturbed me. Turns out there was at least one more.

And I guess SL is getting infected.

I deal with some *extremely* difficult people in my line of work. I've had a layperson's crash course in personality disorders, untreated mental disorders, and sociopathy--so when I run into a predator in the scene I blow them off pretty quickly and forget the incident even more quickly. If they seem to really be living in la-la land I have a bit of fun making short work of them. If the stuff I deal with at work is a 10 these folks rarely get to a 2 on my social annoyance scale.

But even if I deal with it fairly well most of the time it still disturbs me as I know it has the ability to erode perfectly good communities. The good folks are likely to take their ball and play at home, increasing the concentration of predators and problems. The cure most often proposed is teaching the predators how to be decent, socially skilled human beings.

OK--that can work sometimes--especially if the person simply lacks social skills. Many of us were outsiders up to the point we walked into a dungeon for the first time.

But then there are the others who will never turn around, save for a well-aimed lightening bolt to the forehead from God followed by a few years of intensive therapy. Seriously. These people do not live in our social world.

The mistake people make is assuming these folks can read the body language and voice tone cues that most of us read routinely and take for granted.

If the person has grown up under a rock they probably can't--not until they are more socialized. If they are suffering from some sort of personality disorder they won't--they are too busy distorting reality to actually *attend* to it. Worse, they may read your cues as a sign to do something you *don't* want them to do so they can protect their distorted version of reality.

So I think the non-predators need a lesson in direct communication. Ie: "I don't want to play, please leave me alone." "I said no and I mean no." "If you don't stop I will ask (yell) for help." "If you continue to follow me around and pressure me that will guarantee that you will *never* get to play with me." Name the offending behavior, request an alternate behavior, and name the possible consequences for failure to stop. Stand tall and look the person in the eye. Mean it. What would you do if they were after your kid?

The predator may throw a hissy fit at worst--or try to throw verbal barbs at you to induce guilt. The key is to stick to your point and to not engage in their agenda. Repeat your request over and over again if they start to argue with you or hit your triggers. They will eventually go off and find easier prey.

Sounds rude? Too direct? Remember--these folks don't inhabit the same social world the rest of us do. You might not treat your best friend this way--but it is exactly what these people need. The simply clueless will eventually learn a valuable lesson. The more disordered will move on. Think about how direct you have to be with a 2 year old. No--these folks are not 2 years old. But socially they may be--or they may be out after their own unsavory ends.

Now here comes the part where I get to throw the match on the barbie.

I think that failure to directly tell predators to move on/cut the crap not only does a disservice to oneself, but it also does a disservice to the entire community.

No I am NOT blaming the victims here! I *know* this is unfair. If someone really gets victimized it is *all* the perpetrator's fault and the victim is guilt-free.

However, at some point I think pragmatics takes over. It is not our *job* to educate/repel these folks any more than it is our job to to educate our neighbor not to blast his stereo system at all hours. And yet we find ourselves doing these sorts of things anyway. We can either fume about it or just do it and get it over with.

If 80% of us tell perpetrators and other socially rude sorts directly and simply to stop doing whatever it is that is getting into our space, they will move on. If we don't, we will see our parties, clubs, communities become degraded. The good folks will move on leaving...what?

Post Valentines Day Post Mortem ;-)

Ok this is not about what I *did*. That will definitely have to go on the other blog.

This is about how grateful I am for D--and some apparently useful quirky personal beliefs I have about love. Warning: this is an opinionated piece.

D is just into spanking (OK he tolerates a few other things, but if a spanking only club opened up in Phoenix he would be just as happy to never darken the door of a dungeon again).

My scene interests include a heavy dose of spanking, but otherwise are all over the map. So we have an open relationship. I get to go out and do what I did last night--and because I have a million dungeon contacts he gets his itch scratched for multiple top exhibitionist spanking scenes. People look at us funny sometimes. For one thing, the heavy M/s emphasis here assumes that D is *supposed* to like what I like, or at least Obey and Get Over It. It has been six years now. People have largely quit lecturing me about it (and have also quit trying to pigeon-hole our relationship). It was not without quite a bit of work on our part and a bit of fang baring.

As partners though the love is definitely there. It was not this thunderclap "love at first sight" thing. But then again, I don't think I am the type to do that. I had some previous very bad experiences with very good looking people (think about what H.S. was really like for the lowest social caste). The experiences were bad enough that now (perhaps a bit unfairly) such people have to prove that they are decent, humble human beings before I will really trust them. OK--I have an odd bit of discrimination there I need to tend to very soon. Sorry to any drop dead gorgeous types I have offended recently (and if I am your friend *don't* assume you are ugly!!!!)

However, when that happened it caused me to question just about every "conventional" idea of love from a very early age--and I have found much of it to be unrealistic, rather sick catch-22 claptrap. D searched for years to find his match--and in the process his idealized notions of the perfect spanking relationship got stripped down to bare essentials. My already unconventional nature allowed me to blow off ill-fitting M/s notions regarding what we* should* do sooner rather than later. That probably saved our relationship.

D and I are compatible (or at least flexible) on issues of money and sex. Regarding issues of money we are both penny-pinching misers (a fact that has seriously saved our bacon this last half year). Regarding sex--well see above. We also clash like heck on other major traits....

....And we work around them. Sometimes he turns down the political talk show jibber-jabber, and other times I get the shooter's muffs out and read a book. I've perfected my meat and potatoes recipes for him and freeze them en masse--then cook my own stuff and freeze it en masse. Some habits of mine he's adopted--and vice versa.

Somehow it works out not because we are a perfect match but because we respect each other as very different human beings and try to tend to the core of what we think love is. Listening (we are better some days than others), respect for our own inner worlds, lots of compliments and emphasizing the good things, lots of human contact, lots of real world problem solving when the real world does what it likes to do, and lots of freedom for each other with the assurance that we each have a home and a warm embrace to return to.

While there has to be some common ground in any relationship, IMHO the real lesson of love is spiritual. It is not whether you can find a hottie that everyone will be envious of, who shares all of your interests, and who puts the toilet paper on the roll exactly like you do. Rather, it is whether you can connect with the core of another human being and fulfill each other's desire for love and closeness. There is no formula for that, and in my personal experience most social codes for love and relationships do more to hinder than help the process. I am lucky I found someone who believes the same thing and is willing to go on this adventure with me.

Some Random stuff from last night.

I think I find cathartic scenes even more fulfilling than punishment ones (and I *really* like punishment ones). So when it happens in the same scene I am one happy camper.

That said, until last night I never really clued into the fact that a cathartic scene really takes the tiger out of me from the top side. I know what they are like for me from the bottom--if I am planning one I try to make sure I don't have to work the next day and that my immediate next activity involves chilling and food. But it was just last night that I realized I need lots of immediate chilling and food from the top side too.

I had promised to play with D after the first scene--so after about an hour of chilling I was sorta ready. I thought it was going to be a short scene--but it turns out using a singletail for me is like playing some sort of video game after a long day. Not completely mindless--rather something that takes up the whole concentration of a small percentage of my mind while allowing the rest of my brain to take a siesta.

Rad has been saying something for awhile that has finally caught up with me as well. I get just a tad *nervous* before a punishment scene. I rely heavily on scolding and on my instinct for saying the right words to trip a switch in someone so they start to actually feel remorse. I also have been developing a skill for playing with real SAMs, so there is always that niggling worry that I might not be able to subdue them. I have to work on getting myself in a "dark" mode beforehand--so by the end of the scene I have burned off all of this built up energy quickly and I feel like an empty vessel. The challenge though, and the nerves, and that slight concern about failure just add to the appeal. I had a skydiving and rock climbing friend once who told me the exact same thing.

Now, note to self. Pack a clean pair of earplugs and the shooter's earmuffs for my next dungeon punishment or cathartic scene. Due to an ongoing comedy of errors we have the weirdest stuff in our dungeon CD player (which holds about 50 of the damned things). People burn CDs, stuff them in there unmarked, and never retrieve them. If I ever get my mitts on whomever put the "William Tell Overture" in there a few months ago.... The wrong music seriously messes with bottom space. Yeah, inteferes with scolding, though there is some appeal in lifting off one half of a muff and yelling at someone.

Play Party

The scene worked well. I won't post much about it for the sake of confidentiality, but it was a punishment scene that morphed into a cathartic scene (I worked in tandem with this person's Dominant/Master and used scolding over real issues to help trigger a catharsis that the person needed). I sometimes end up in the role of "henchman" or "beta Top" for a dominant who is not a strong sadist which is more or less what happened in this case. Given that I am not strongly into D/s or M/s I rather like the role. Someone else can deal with the rules and the service, I can deal out the discipline, and life is good for everyone.

I had another singletail scene with D. I've been practicing my "butterfly kisses" (just getting the string "brush" at the end of the knot to brush the person) and I am getting better at it. Enough repetition apparently gives a person the ability to see things they could not see before--in this case the depth of a stroke on skin in a dark dungeon. On of my mentors suggests putting out a candle in the dark with a singletail for practice--I might try that one of these days.

The begging and pleading of bottoms

So I have a scene planned tomorrow that may turn out to be a combination of punishment and catharsis.

At issue is to warm up or not to warm up. Kinda wondering if said bottom has been snooping out my blog.

My stance is that this person will get what is needed, and if warm up figures in somehow than that will happen. I have my ways of describing general patterns I see, but I also like scenes to *work* especially if the bottom really needs something in particular from it or if a combination of actions produced the desired result in the past.

But still...

What is this business of this person telling me their behind was never that tough. Or that what they can take may turn out to be pathetic?

My, my, my.

Somebody is feeling a bit...nervous?

I love scenes that start a day before I pick up an implement ;-)

Wow.

Once in a great while someone writes something so gorgeous that it makes me want to eat my keyboard.

Go read the latest post on "My Dirty Little Secret" (Jenni Mack on my blog list).

Just...wow.

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No Warmup?

Something Radagast (Radspace) posted a few days ago got me thinking:

The assumption with most scenes is that the Top will do some sort of warm-up to ease the bottom into things and get the endorphins flowing gradually.

IME--This is an example of one of those things that should be taken as a useful guideline, not a hard and fast rule. In other words, if you see a no warmup scene in the dungeon don't freak out and start thinking the Top is a lousy player. In my travels I've actually collected a surprisingly large number of instances in which a warmup would actually work *against* the scene.

1. Punishment (discipline). Rad described this one well. Whether you are getting punished for something real or doing punishment for a role play punishment should--well--hurt. Folks I know who have punishment as a kink have it precisely because they get something out of the fear, shock, and the fact that their endorphins are never allowed to overshadow the pain. If one wants punishment simply for behavior modification then it needs to be adversive. Scenes with warmups are not adversive. So for punishment (real or Memorex) I start out hard and work up to harder. For the initial swats I want shock and awe, but I don't want the person to kick me in the nose, suddenly develop the strength to move cars, or fly through a wall (with or without me in tow). So I don't pick up the 3/4 inch thick cocobolo 16 hole BottomBlaster 2000 at this point. I pick up a wooden hairbrush made of a softer (but still hard) wood.

The BottomBlaster comes out later as the endorphins kick in and I still want to continue getting the same reaction (if the punishment *needs* to last that long). In my experience it is the disappointment of the Top that punishes at least as much as the swats in a punishment scene that is intended to help alter real behavior. In more of a role play situation, it is the fear of the relentlessness of the top and the loss of control that does the emotional work to compliment the physical swats.

2. Cathartic scenes: Pretty much the same thing--except the intent is different. In the punishment scene I present a stern, impersonal, no-nonsense face. After the scene I may reassure the person that I still love *them* (but not the behavior). But there is no long aftercare.

In a cathartic scene I first want a general idea of why the person needs it. Do they need to grieve something? Has life gotten so stressful that they have gone emotionally numb? Are they blocked either creatively or in their ability to solve a problem? I figure that out (vague is OK) and ask them to start to sit with those feelings and hold them nonjudgmentally the best they can. That starts to prime the pump. Then I spend time looking them in the eye and I ask them if they trust me to give them what they need. When I feel the bond I can begin. The object here is to shock the mind out of its defensiveness and out of its distractions. It is rather hard to keep something suppressed or keep rationalizing something away if one's mind keeps getting yanked back to *swat* NOW *swat* NOW *swat* NOW, etc.

Verbal comments may break the dam if one has enough information to provide effective ones. Of course the catharsis can come in the form of laughing, crying, having a temper tantrum, etc. I end up spanking (or flogging) well into the initial show of emotions. There is this bone in most people's heads that goes into shame mode when emotions start to flow strongly. Continuing the spanking quiets that down just as it quiets down any other monkey mind antics the brain pulls. I've had people go through waves of all sorts of different emotions at the business end of a flogger or cane. The top, IMO, is definitely in service mode for this. One cannot stop until it is "done" regardless of achy shoulders or sweaty toy handles.

Aftercare is the polar opposite of the punishment scene. You have now become a minister of sorts and after the scene is over your job is to stay with that person, transmitting love without judgment and without "trying to soothe the pain away" until that person is done with whatever they need to process. Check-ins the next day are critical. I've heard of scenes going so deep that the Top does not leave the bottom that night, especially if the bottom does not have another supporter to go to.

Now punishment scenes can go cathartic. If I have a bottom I have punished for failing to keep track on his diet and suddenly he starts sobbing and raging about how his mother pulled "Mommy Dearest" tricks with his food when he was a child, obviously I am going to scrap the punishment aftercare subroutine and go with the same aftercare I would use for a catharsis. It is not a reward at this point--the person has obviously come to the core of some of *why* he has misbehaved and sticking around can help him heal it.

3. Rite of Passage. I've been through this twice, though not with spanking. There is really no warmup for an 8 gauge hook. Piercing or tatooing often get used as a rite of passage in our (mainstream) culture. "Hey I got divorced and then got this cool tatoo of a butterfly on my back! This is symbolic of my metamorphosis and new freedom." Rite of passage can be used as a bookmark, as a symbol that something has changed, or as a way to discover new strengths. A slave who takes a nose piercing (painful) and then puts in a large piece of jewelry at the behest of her owner and goes about her business for a week (embarrassing) has simultaneously marked her passage into being this master's property, has acknowledged the change, and has discovered that she can cope with physical pain, emotional fear, and social embarrassment (making her a stronger person)

4. Going for a spiritual experience. Fast for 2 days, then hang off the ground by two hooks in your chest. You might just see the light. On a more subtle note, flooding your body with shock and endorphins might thin the veil between you and whatever your belief system is. You might hear from God, or the gods, or the Universe, or what have you. You might get "hits" regarding what you need to do next to fulfill your life mission.

5. Ordeal #1: How much can I take? How far can I go? Can I really do *that*? Interrogation scenes fall into this category. No warmup there. I once saw an interrogation scene which resulted in one of the bottoms being reassured of the depth of his love for his fiance. Beautiful stuff. Sometimes though you just want to know if you can take 9 judicial style cane strokes. Or whatever. Some people are thrill seekers and limit pushers: "Can I sack that peak? Can I run 50 miles through Death Valley in midsummer? Can I play with that singletail top going full tilt?

This one can go really stupid though. If extremely masochistic bottom A challenges Insecure Ego Top B that the Top will tire before the bottom does, you have a recipe for trouble. I won't play this way, but if someone took away my conscience I could really do some damage with 1,000 cuts of a singletail before I would tire out. Not smart. Especially if you have a poor sense of when you physically have had enough--and when you are nearly delirious with pain that sense will be poor. Extreme pain *confuses* the brain.

6. Ordeal #2: Obedience. How much can I take for my Master? Does my capability to obey have a limit? Can go stupid--but also can be used to bond slave and Master if used well. It can also be used to push on phobias and fear areas and thus aid growth--if used very carefully. Warmup? Not likely.

And no--these are not nice neat categories in real life. There is plenty of room for overlap. However, they come in handy when I am negotiating. If I am lucky the prospective bottom tells me "That is what I want! I did not have the words for it though and nobody else ever talks about that particular thing!"

The Details

*Le Sigh*

Somebody wants details about what is going to happen to Wednesday as a result of that lost bet.

OK, OK, it is only fair. I can't scintillate and then leave folks hanging.

A little background here. The Victorians were a bunch of closeted sick kinksters masquerading as ultra chaste moralists. The kink and all of that repressed sexuality came out in the way they chose to punish folks. I have a whole essay of punishments in one of my computer folders (some would be too risky to go live with). However, one old classic that has made it around the scene is something my friends have dubbed "The Victorian Punishment Triumvirate."

You give your victim an enema (can be a punishment one depending on water temp and what you add to it, as well as volume). Once that is expelled you cut a piece of gingerroot into a butt plug, plug it in, and cane the poor soul.

Safe but rather nasty. First off the enema washes away anything that would have blunted the sting of the ginger (ginger sting is nullified by lube and/or lube-like body substances). Now the instinct is to clench when you get caned. Clench around the ginger though and you get another burn, leading to a nice Hobson's choice.

I've been dying to try this on someone for ages now. So I made the harebrained bet in hopes of getting lucky.

I lost by a &#%@ toe.

I'm Toast

Oddly enough, I really feel *sad* that the Cards lost.

Is this what it is like to be a football fan?

Damn

Goddamn

Cards...

Don't. Go. To. Overtime.

Okay?

One minute left.

The Cards are Ahead!!!

Now take the shoes off and start spanking!!!

So D opened the window

and is bellowing loud enough for our neighbor to hear.

Dear Fellow Superbowl Betting partner....

They scored a touchdown, see?

I refuse to pucker.

I refuse to Say Die.

Touchdown...

OK Cards--keep pulling it out of your shoes...

Play Party Yesterday

D is bellowing at the TV. I am trying to distract myself. Cross posted from my other blog...

Yes, I am a happy camper today. I went to a play party yesterday that turned out very nicely.

I had arranged for one person to play with me who did not know that I play with singletails. He is turning into a dedicated spanking enthusiast (among other things) and has a nice masochistic streak. He told the resident TNG singletail expert of his desire to experience a singletail scene. Said expert was busy and referred him back to me. I had not planned to use any specific implement on his behind so we decided make it a singletail scene.

So I got to pop his cherry. I am developing a love affair with singletails. Any implement that can be as subtle or as fierce as you wish gets high marks from me. That and I have reached the "effortless effort" point with regards to my ability to wield it. I am not sure that the bottom realized such a thing as "light singletail strokes" exist (that other singletail top and I tend to play on the heavy side), but I was able to get him into a sweet la-la land. I stopped short of "enough." There is an "enough" point during a scene that does not necessarily correlate with the "enough" point when one has to sit on it all week sans the assistance of endorphins. Evidently though he was happy with the artwork I left behind and wants to play harder the next time.

Non-spanking half posted in The Islander

Cards...

Ok--start pulling it out of your shoes.

Any time now.

Now?
Now?
Now?
Now?

A Deal for The Steelers

You keep your historic play.

We win.

Fair? Yes??

Dear Fellow Superbowl Betting partner....

The game ends after 4 quarters. *FOUR QUARTERS*

The Cards are going to pull it up from their shoes, now that even Springsteen is against them, and they are going to spank the Steelers.

That is what the Cards do. They win when everyone tells them they are going to lose.

So keep the clamp on that nozzle, willya???

;-)