Friday, March 27, 2009

DD update: Rewards

Well, I am writing again. My brain has slowed down somewhat. I will see how it goes though...

My last attempt to convince D to exercise worked out well. After the discipline session I also offered a reward for good behavior. So tonight we are going out to his favorite restaurant for a meatloaf dinner. His exercise has been consistent and the computer area is now spotless (he mistook "keeping it clean" for "cleaning it every day" but I am inclined to let sleeping schedules lie).

I am going to try a monthly reward schedule with him. A "good boy" spanking will be a default unless he is sore from previous party adventures, but I also talked to him about other things he might want. So far we have meatloaf dinners, building up his music collection one CD at a time, and him being able to get a one month membership to a desired spanking site.

I am sure we will think of other things too. This makes a handy holiday list too, actually.

Of course I will take care of slip ups weekly and restart the reward clock then if needed.

So a question to the audience. Do you use rewards in DD? Do you like to receive them? If you do use them or receive them what are your favorites?

I know there is a difference of opinion on using rewards at all. Some have told me they don't use them because they want the person to do the action for the intrinsic benefit or for the sake of obedience. WRT to M/s relationships and some relationships tending towards D/s I do grok that philosophy. However for D, the things he needs help with are things that we all have trouble being motivated to do from time to time. Spanking or meatloaf helps him--setting a good example for him is helping me (I have a hard time looking him in the eye regarding an exercise dispute if I am not on *my* exercise plan).

7 comments:

Dante d'Amore said...

Glad you're up to posting. I tried the rewards thing before but it did nothing so I can't offer any good suggestions.

Wednesday said...

I was more curious about what others do. What happened when you tried rewards?

Anonymous said...

This is great Miss Wednesday and I am glad it is working out for you both! Ma'am and I--as you know, but others may not--do use a kind of reward system. It's more random though. She will suggest or surprise me by going to sushi or giving me a 'good girl spanking'. The reward for me is not really a reward, but a nice surprise now and then, if that makes sense.

Hugs to you both,
Jenni

Wednesday said...

Interesting. Do you find getting surprises works better for you personally, or is that just how the dynamic turned out? I can definitely see doing it that way if both people are very busy with erratic schedules. Having to cancel a scheduled reward might be a bad idea for some people.

Caroline Grey said...

"Spanking or meatloaf" is such a great phrase.

I can't say rewards have ever been a part of our DD dynamic, when we have one. I like the idea, though. I think, however, that I may be too spoiled already for them to be very practical. :)

Wednesday said...

Interesting. I know D clearly needs them from my read of his personality. Now you have me curious though regarding what factors might make them unnecessary or even unhelpful. Thanks for the comment!

Anonymous said...

I miss you lines Miss Wednesday!!!

-jenni