You can't make this stuff up

I shouldn't post today--I still have brain fog/irritability. But I am bored. Too sick to go to work (esp where I work) but not sick enough to be flat on my back in bed. So I will take my chances...

Anyhow, the dinner I referenced yesterday was very interesting. We went to a Sushi/Teppenyaki restaurant and reserved a Teppenyaki table. For anyone who has not gone to a Teppenyaki restaurant it is basically a combination of cooking and performance art. You sit family style at a table that contains a grill in the center. After you order a cook comes up and cooks your meal in front of you. It starts with the obligatory fireball that nearly sears off your eyebrows, then a little spatula drumming and juggling, and various antics with the food. This cook/performer had a gift with eggs. He could toss raw ones in the air and catch them on a metal spatula without cracking them.

So my techie spanko friend is the disciplinarian/mentor for a young female friend of the family. I will call her "M". Anyhow M was sitting next to me on one side, D on the other side. The techie spanko friend was there too with her husband. Anyhow, the cook comes up and start juggling eggs. One slipped and cracked on the grill and he said "I am going to have to spank that."

Yeah, you can imagine the reaction that got, esp. out of M. We were all hooting (somewhat to the puzzlement of the other family there) but M turned about 11 shades of red and tucked her head.

Well, this performer now had his act cut out for him and he ran away with it. He dropped another egg on purpose and stated he would have to spank that too (now M was 14 shades of red). He kept up a monologue of various things, catching eggs in his hat, juggling the spice containers, then threw a piece of chicken breast out on the grill.

"Spank that chicken. Who your daddy??" he exclaimed in an oriental accent as he proceeded to whack the chicken breast with his spatula. More juggling--the fried rice got put on plates and he asked the other family how they would like their steak done. They put in their orders and then he put the steak on the grill.

"Spank that steak!! Who your Daddy?? Now you spank that steak!!"

He handed the spatula off to M and kept asking her to spank the steak!!

She gave it a half hearted whack. I was howling myself at this point and could not longer contain myself, so I said "Spank that steak! You know you want to! You know you have it in you! Spank it or I will have to!!"

M gave me this look, sighed, and gave the steak a good whack.

"Very good! That how spank a steak!"

It took us all awhile to calm down enough to eat. I wonder what the conversation was like for the other family when they drove home.

No, you really can't make this stuff up.